|[image courtesy of Wikipedia]|
Faith and begorra, it's St. Patrick's Day tomorrow. He's the patron saint of Ireland, and in celebration of him driving away the snakes and bringing Christianity to the Emerald Isle, people all over the world get poop-faced on green beer and Irish whiskey. I do hope such an honor is never bestowed on me after my passing...
Didja know St. Pat's real name was Maewyn Succat? Patrick is the name he took when he became a priest. Just as well, because Happy Maewyn Succat Day doesn't roll off the tongue quite as easily, especially after consuming copious quantities of the aforementioned beer and whiskey.
Didja also know St. Pat (Shhhh) wasn't even Irish?
Nonetheless, on March 17 every year, the date of this patron saint of Ireland's death, he is celebrated. With parades... with green you-name-it... with corned beef and cabbage or Irish stew. With lots of laughter. Ah yes... the laughter. How about an Irish joke or two?
|[image courtesy of Morguefile]|
One fine St. Patrick's Day, two men were sitting side-by-side at an Irish pub in Boston. After a while, one looks at the other, and says, "I can't help but think from listening to you that you're from Ireland."
Rather proudly, the other man says, "Why, yes, that I am!"
The first said, "So am I! Whereabouts from Ireland might ye be?"
The other says, "From Dublin, I am."
The first says, "Sure and begorra, so am I! And what street was it you lived on in Dublin?"
The other says, "Oh, a lovely little area it was. I lived on McCleary Street in the old central part of town."
The first says, "Faith, and it's a small world, so did I! And to what school might ye have been going?"
The other says, "I went to St. Mary's, of course."
The first guy gets really excited. "So did I! And what year did ye graduate, then?"
The other says, "In 1964, I did."
The first guy is so excited at this news, he nearly topples from his bar stool. "As I live and breathe, the Good Lord must be smiling down upon us this fine St. Patrick's Day! I can hardly believe the good luck that brings us together in the same bar. I graduated from St. Mary's in 1964 my own self!"
About this time, another man enters the pub and orders a beer. The bartender shakes his head as he hands the beer to him, and says, "It's going to be a long night."
"What makes you say that?" the patron asks.
"The Murphy twins are drunk again."
A temp was filling in for the receptionist that day, and in the course of chatting, she discovered I was from Maryland. She got very excited at this news and said, "Me, too! Whereabouts?"
I told her, "Dundalk." (Which, by the way, is a sister city to Dundalk, Ireland.)
Even more excited, she said, "ME, TOO!" Then she asked which high school I attended.
I said, "Dundalk High School."
"ME, TOO!!!" she screamed, practically jumping out of her chair. "What year did you graduate?"
When I told her the year, she stared at me, wide-eyed, with a blank expression on her face. Finally, in a much more subdued voice, she said, "Maybe you knew my mother...?"
A word to the wise: Never borrow money from a leprechaun. (They're always a little short...)
Know why you should never iron a four-leaf clover? It's never a good idea to press your luck.
Know how to tell if an Irishman is having a good time? Easy. He's Dublin over with laughter.
How about a wee bit o' Irish cheer?
May your glass be ever full. May the roof over your head always be strong. And may you be in heaven a half hour before the devil knows you're dead.
Until next time, take care of yourselves and each other.
Bless your little Irish heart, and every other Irish part.